The Twilight Post.

There's still time to close the page and walk away...

Generally speaking, I'm an anti-bandwagon kind of person. Unless I accidentally wind up on the bandwagon without knowing it's a bandwagon (eg. Star Wars) I tend to steer clear. I'm not really sure why, but the more people who like something, the more likely I am to ignore it completely. I've never read Harry Potter, I've never seen Forest Gump and up until this month I'd never read Twilight.

I'm hesitant to do this, but it's fresh in my mind and if I'm not careful I'm going to open my mouth and start gabbing Twilight with the wrong person, bore them to tears and be forever ostracized. Plus I want it out of my head. Perhaps what I'm really in need of is a book group. I love discussing a book... in crazy detail, but I'm pretty sure my husband will disown me if I try to recruit him as my Twilight sounding board.

I was leaving a friend's house one morning after Jessica had played hard and after I'd lamented that I didn't have any books in the car and hoped that she didn't fall asleep before we got home, K went and brought me some books. (God bless friends who love to read!) One of these books was Twilight. I kinda looked sideways at it but went with it. After all, I was kind of curious. I'd seen the first movie and thought it was dire. There had to be something amazing in the book for so many people to put up with such a rotten movie.

Twilight - Not too bad. Definitely better than the movie. Still didn't like Bella very much, but I was beginning to be able to see the appeal.

Cue trip to the library to collect the rest of the series.

New Moon - hmm still good, still don't like Bella. I decided that maybe it was because I was picturing Kristen Stewart and her sour puss in the role, so I spent the rest of the book trying to force a different character image into my head. Have you ever tried changing the look of a character after reading an entire book? It's hard in a strange way. The way writing with your left hand if you're right-handed is hard. Your brain feels like it's physically rebelling at the idea.

Eclipse - okay I can see how it developed a following. I need the final book, but the local library didn't have a copy. (Yes, I'm ashamed to admit it but as one of my friends so  eloquently said, "It's got crack in the pages." You don't know WHY you can't put it down, but you just can't. ) Thankfully, this wise friend had a copy of Breaking Dawn that she loaned me.

Breaking Dawn - When I started this book I was warned that I'd hit a point and go "Argh!" so I spent every page in a stress bubble wondering who was going to die and why. Turns out the warning applied to something much smaller in scale and everything was nicely tied up into a happy ending. Actually, the most tied up and satisfying ending I've read in a long time. I wasn't expecting that.


Midnight Sun - An unfinished manuscript by Meyer, retelling the first novel via Edward's perspective. Perhaps my favourite of all the books. I finally like Bella - it's amazing how much more likable she is from Edward's point of view.

The Movies.....

Most of the actors appear to be comical spoofs of the characters in the book.
(remember these are my own opinions you are under no obligation to agree with them, you don't even have to like them.)

Bella - I don't even know where to start. Honestly. There are so many things wrong here that I don't even know where to start. So I won't. I don't approve of the casting choice. I also don't approve of bad wigs such as her wig in Eclipse. I hate it when actresses have to wear tacky wigs - think Hayden Panettiere in Heroes, I can't focus on anything else.
Rosalie - She was supposed to be gorgeous, not, well not whatever it was that she was.

Edward - They got the eyes right and I agree with his build in general and the hair, but ouch... it kind of looks like someone smashed his face with a frying pan..

Esme - I think I decided that she was blonde, so the brunette totally threw me for a loop.

Alice - one again, the fake hair bothered me. (I'm not positive if it was a wig, but I hope it was for the actress's sake, cause that's some bad hair.)

Emmett - pretty much what I thought, but it can't be hard to get the frat boy type right

Carlise - only real difference was that I was pronouncing it Car-leese and not Car-lyle

I really won't say anything else about the movies I'm just going to treat them as the comedy/farce/spoofs that they obviously are and move on. :)

and now that I've gotten that off my chest I can stop bothering friends and family with my inane ramblings about Edward, Bella and Jacob.

House!

Hello. It's been a while hasn't it? More than a month to be less than exact. We've been busy. The whole trying to find a place to live thing really eats up all your free time. (sooo sick of hotpads.com and realtor.com)

However, I can now happily report that we have found a place we'd like to rent and the owners have graciously said yes despite our toddler and kitty baggage. You'd be surprised at how few quality (read: non-dump) detached houses for rent, that will take a cat, have any kind of yard, and are anywhere remotely in our price range are out there. The few that do exist get snapped up almost immediately.  The final property we looked at had another set of applicants who'd turned in their paperwork the night before us. Thankfully our credit history was, according to the listing agent, significantly better. This and our 18 month lease offer put us "hands and feet" above them. (I'm sure he meant 'head and shoulders' but I think I may have to start using 'hands and feet' just to see if I can make it a thing!) Here's our new abode for the next 18 months.

Finally more than one bedroom! We can officially have visitors! Start planning your vacations now!

If you have any hot tips on the best place to buy a washer, dryer and new bedroom set, please let me know! (Notes of makes and models that won't eat my clothes or go kaput in the first year will also be happily accepted.) Also - if you want to do some heavy lifting on the weekend of August 20th, let me know. You will be compensated with food and beverage... I know how you Americans like your beer! ;)

16 Months!

I don't do a lot of the monthly check-ins with milestone updates but since she's asleep I thought I might as well give it a whirl!

Jessica MacKenzie Smith - June 18th 2011 - 16 months old.

 Current aliases: Jessa, Jessie, Jessabear, The Bear. 

Weight: 22.4lbs

Height: hmm this is going to require some skill from the parents to work out later.

Hair Colour: Strawberry Blonde

Eye Colour: Almost brown but still hazel

Every single day this little girl develops more of her own personality. She's demonstrating both Daddy's stubbornness and hints of Mommy's ocd. If you peel the wrapper a fraction of an inch too far down her string cheese stick she flies into a rage. At times adorable... other times, not so much. If you take the Babybel cheese entirely out of the red wax casing she will refuse to eat the cheese point blank. She's also showing her relation to G'ma Tina. If you try to help her by doing something for her rather than by showing her, she gets fussy. (heheh I love you Mom!)

On the other hand she's really communicating now. I'm so glad we decided to teach her a few signs and even happier that she took to them so well. She doesn't say much yet but she uses her signs all the time. Her most frequently used signs are; Eat, More, and Help. I have to say- there's nothing more mind blowing than when she combines them into compound thoughts! 

Even though she's not speaking as such yet, she does know a few words. She has finally started using Momma and Dadda with direction. It's rare that she'll call me Dadda anymore. Hi and Hiya she has mastered and when LeeLoo (the cat) jumped into bed this morning, she very clearly said, "Hiya EeeOoo."

She loves her friends and is interacting with other children so well. Her best buddy went on vacation for a week and she took to carrying a dolly everywhere she went. (I think she missed her!) There's very little toy stealing and practically no shoving. A hug that maybe winds up with both toddlers on the floor? Yes. A shove? No. [However, Caiden is her exception to the rule. She thinks he was built solely for rough-housing - see?]

Summers in Raleigh are HOT! So we've been swimming a lot. She's a fish. She kicks and paddles and completely thinks that I should let go of her and that she'd be fine. One of my favourite parts about swimming? The extra long naps afterwards!

She can put all the pieces in the proper spots in her animal puzzle, she's gotten pretty darn good at eating with a fork, she runs like an olympian (okay that might be a bit of hyperbole), and she loves to sing!

She's absolutely precious and we love her to bits. We think she's amazing and she continues to astound us on an almost daily basis. That said, she's such a handful that we're definitely not thinking about a sibling for a long while! If you know her you'll know that she's completely sure that the world revolves around her and to even imply otherwise would be heresy.

You can find the other shots from her 16 month photo shoot in the picasa album.

One of those mornings

Thursday morning started with a 7am wake up call from the little bear. There was no convincing her to go back to sleep so up I got. Or I thought I was up. Weak willed non-morning person that I am, I put Sesame Street on (thank heaven for Netflix) and proceeded to lay down on the sofa. Well, an unspecified amount of time later I woke up to the credits (stop counting!) and a pre-chewed mound of pretzel on the sofa directly infront of my face. Mark was home too, he was just getting ready for work - it's not as if I fell asleep and let my toddler run amok. (well not mostly) Attempting to dress myself and the child simultaneously I learned that my jeans don't really fit. Sure I can wear them out of the house, but will I be comfortable in them? No. I'm pretty sure I need to shed about 10 more pounds before the majority of my clothes will fit again. Gee, thanks for that early morning 'you're fat' reminder jeans.

Drive Mark into work. Leave Jessica in the back seat all alone with a tub of Gerber cheddar puffs. I knew what would happen but the part of my brain that was temporarily in control didn't care. I just wanted to get to the Barnes and Nobles story time without a carseat meltdown. (Baby cheetos solve most of the world's ails at this point.) Arrive at Barnes and Nobles roughly an hour early. I was not going to drive home just to get her out of the car for 10 minutes before getting her back into the car. (Why can't the mall open at 9am?) Yes, this is the same story-time we attempted back in January. However, this time we were meeting a few of the amazing moms we've met in Stroller Strides so things were bound to go better, and it did! Jessica fell in love with two little girls who were about 6 or 7. They were the very quiet soft spoken type and were happy to have her sit between them on the bench. Jessica sat on that bench swinging her legs through the ENTIRE story! At one point the story teller asked who was brave and a lot of the kids raised their hands. Jessica looked all around her for a minute and then put both her hands in the air. It was adorable!

After a successful story-time we headed over to the mall. The stroller wasn't actually in the car but the Ergo was. Shopping with a baby in an Ergo is one thing. Wanting to try things on when the only thing containing your baby is an Ergo? Completely different thing. I debated back and forth for what felt like ages and then made the wrong decision. Yes. I decided to let her out of the ergo and to try something on. Baaad idea. In the end they didn't have the color in the style I was looking for so off we headed to the food court.

By this point I was starving. Getting Jessica back into the Ergo after tasting freedom should be an Olympic sport. I decided to get a parmesan pretzel in hopes that Jessica would enjoy it too. Nope. Shrieks of rage. Obviously the parmesan pretzel was an attempt by her mother to poison her. Only logical answer. It was dry and not worth the $2.50 I paid for it but you didn't see me shrieking and throwing it in the face of the man who sold it to me.

Definitely time to leave the mall. On the long walk back to the car I was "that mother" the one with the rabid child. I was embarrassed and wanted nothing more than to sprint out of the mall.. sprinting with a toddler in an ergo? Yeah, not possible. I felt like any second the good parent police would swoop down on me and demand to know what I done to my child to incite such anger.

After a few wrong turns we made it home. Jessica, of course, fell asleep 2 minute before we arrived at the apartment. I decided to drive up to our floor so I could, hopefully, carry her sleeping baby self in without waking her up.
Extract baby from car seat without waking - check!
Find keys without waking baby - check!
Open door into the hallway and... what???! Why is the carpet red? Why are the walls red? Where am I?! I'd accidently parked on the third floor instead of the fourth. There was no way I'd be able to keep her asleep and put her back into the car so we headed for the stairs. Alas. Unsuccessful. Awake baby. No nap in our near future.

The afternoon fared better - we went to a friend's house to play and then collected Daddy from work and she took a catnap in the car on the way home.

I'm pretty sure I learned my lesson. Never take a toddler to the mall on your own. NEVER.

Seriously off topic.

A midday email forward from my father brings us this little gem that I just had to share. (Every once in a while the parents manage to fwd on a email worthy of the fwd button. ;)

Redneck Turtle Burgers

Handmade ground beef patties, topped with sharp cheddar cheese, wrapped in a bacon weave, then the next step, add hotdogs as the heads, legs with slits for toes and tail.

Next step.  Place on an oven rack, covered loosely with foil and baked for 20-30 minutes at 400 degrees.  A little crispy, not too crunchy...just how a turtle should be, no?

I can't decide if I'm horrified or a little eager. I'm leaning towards disturbed yet impressed. I can feel my arteries clogging just looking at it. Southerns. Ya gotta lov'em. (Now if you passed it over to a Glaswegian.. they'd feel obliged to further deep fry it.)

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Edit: As far as I can piece together I'm pretty sure it originated at the INTERWEBS RANDOMNESS AND OTHER INSPIRING TALES Blog.

I've got a mouldy bunch of coconuts..

Okay so I only have one but that doesn't fit into the song as well.

Last weekend while we were visiting my folks, I learned a lot about coconuts. It's amazing what you will decide to do while Grandpa is entertaining the baby, there's a laptop in front of you and a coconut just begging to be opened. Mom had a couple coconuts and pineapples left over from some beach themed something or other that she did in class. (Sorry Mom, there appears to be a hole in my brain. I was listening at the time. Really!) Well, how do you open a coconut? I wanted to saw at it. Wrong. We turn to the information database that is YouTube. Apparently you just hit it really hard and it cracks open. We enlisted Dad. Success. Coconut open. It was yummy. 2nd coconut didn't have any water in it and smelled a bit funny. Less success. ((Water you say? Yes I said water! The liquid inside a coconut is called coconut water. If you purée it with the 'meat' of the coconut it then becomes coconut milk. Aaah youtube. What we would do without you?)) Then we watched a 10 minute video of a guy cutting a pineapple all fancy like... it spurred me to action. 30 seconds later I was finished being creative and just chopped it into ugly little chunks. After popping a significant amount into my mouth, the immediate development of a canker sore on my tongue and the accompanied burning sensation brought me to the abrupt conclusion that I'm minorly allergic to pineapple. Well that's new. yaay.

I digress. The point being - I wanted more coconut. So this week I picked up one from Harris Teeter. It sloshed acceptably so I thought I was in the clear. Last night I dug out our hammer and whacked it. Water into the waiting bowl and other than a slightly bruised finger it was all good. Until closer inspection that is. The water wasn't sweet. The coconut was slimy and ... oh my gosh!! is that mould!? Yes. I was in possession of a mouldy coconut. I was not happy. Mark suggested I could walk over to Harris Teeter and buy another one. That's a lot of work for a coconut. I decided against it. (perhaps if I still had my pedometer on I would have gone... maybe it would be in my best interest to leave it on?)

Oh. I also learned some alchemy. If you put ice tea in my Ninja it turns into beer.

Did you really just ask why I put ice tea in the ninja? I wanted to try and make an ice tea slushee that's why. Surely you can understand that.

10,000 steps and counting.

UPDATE: WE WON!!!! :D

For the past month I've been competing with my team " The Yummy Mummies" in a 10,000 steps a day challenge with my Stroller Strides class. The rules were simple, walk at least 10,000 steps every day and the team with the most cumulative steps at the end wins. We all included a few goals for the month. My goals included hitting 10,000 steps every day and shifting 5 out of the 10 extra pounds I've picked up since moving back to America.

I'm thrilled to say that as of this morning those 5lbs are gone and I managed 10,000 or more steps on all but two days!

Some days it was hard. Days like last Wednesday where it was 10:30pm and I only had 5,000 steps... thank goodness for the 24 hour gym in my building! I hit it hard and 40 minutes and 3 miles later I'd passed the 10,000 mark.

Some days it was easy. On Memorial Day I was at 12,000 steps before noon! It's amazing what hanging out with my Mom can do. (It's no surprise that she's half my size! That woman moves!)

I had an awesome team. The girls were incredible and their daily totals were amazing! I'm positive I wouldn't have gotten as much out of the competition if I didn't have their encouragement. We checked in with each other every day, all of us celebrating the previous days' total or sympathizing on a particularly slow day. I didn't feel silly marching in place when my team-mates happily joined in. So, Jennifer and Megan, I'd like to say thanks for being so darned awesome! :D  (of course I now have a strange habit of walking in place like I need to pee....)

My daily totals (My daily average was 11,666)

4th   11652

5th 12156

6th 11362

7th 12148

Week 1 Total 47318

8th 12006

9th 15728

10th 10674

11th 12641

12th 10860

13th 12260

14th 10042

Week 2 Total 84211

15th 10183

16th 10336

17th 11657

18th 11891

19th 12012

20th 11678

21st 10018

Week 3 Total 77775

22nd 13303

23rd 13352

24th 10820

25th 10232

26th 8529

27th 10361

28th 8581

Week 4 Total 75178

29th 14661

30th 17268

31st 10245

Week 5 Finale! 42174